Walking together in school

Every fortnight a group of eight 10 year olds meet with me for an OutoftheBox session. The hour includes an individual time for the children to respond in a chosen art medium after the community play. This is an account of the third story that one of the groups experienced.

The children attend a small Church of England school. I am invited in not as part of the RE curriculum but as part of the school objective to provide safe and brave spaces where wellbeing can be explored without a focus being directly on a child or the challenges they may be living with.  It came as a response to seeing how well these children responded to this method of storytelling in collective worship.

Each of the eight children live with adverse childhood experiences which impacts their ability to learn formally and interact with others. The sessions give these children playful times in the school day where they feel psychologically safe with trusted adults and are able to engage well. It is also part of the school helping them with the transition to secondary school next year.

The teaching assistant who is responsible for the emotional wellbeing of the children and for safeguarding is always present.

I know nothing about the backgrounds of individual children, only what the children choose to reveal during sessions. The teaching assistant holds the big picture of the children’s lives and if there are any safeguarding concerns will follow them up.

Each term I have a different eight children. The school see this as being a valuable way of supporting children and their significant needs. The hope is that in time the school will have the budget to train a staff member to deliver OutoftheBox, although they recognise there is something very special in having someone come in who does not teach the children. 

In this session I shared Psalm 23 with the group. They really entered into the story and the wondering turned into a discussion about loss and grief - all different types. The amazing moment in the wondering was when one child said “we are all gloriously amazing - my dad says that to me every day even though things are rubbish in life right now. This helps me stay OK, even when things around me are not OK.” Her friend said her Dad always says it’s all about putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. She went on to talk about wondering what it is like to be in the valley - what does it feel like and who helps guide others and comforts others. She explored the experience being different for everyone. 

One child felt they didn’t belong and was with the enemies.

Two children placed themselves at the table

Three children placed themselves in the valley

A rich discussion followed about being alongside others and walking with them. Another child said he knew what it felt like to be the enemies not feeling you belonged and he shared what it felt like to feel you were missing out and how he needed others to help him belong. It was lonely in his life as he had lost his Mum.

We talked of loss, we talked of grief. One 10 year old spoke with tears in her eyes about ‘the need to live in a world that is kind about sadness’. It felt like a healing space, where loss was shared but also empathy wondered about and experienced between the children. The children initiated a conversation to tell one another how they needed people to support them when they felt sad.

At this point I asked the children to choose a figure that represents them and put themselves in the landscape. The places where the children placed themselves are shown in these photos.

One child wanted to sit and be.

Two children wanted to be freer

I held the shepherd and asked who the shepherd reminded them of. We had response of teachers, parents, best friends, family support. They then spontaneously talked about how these people helped them, through distraction, listening, laughter, just being there, not leaving them alone.

The final statement was made by a child who is being assessed for attention deficit disorder.
“Isn’t it amazing the dude David thousands of years ago, got how we feel today as well? Feelings don’t change we just label them differently. And lets’ face it I want to be at that table at the end - I got to work out how.”

At this point many of the children moved themselves to the table, some didn’t but stayed where they were.

These are all children who don’t go to church, none of them talked about the shepherd being God or Jesus but key people in their lives who could be there for them. It was extraordinary how a group of children really entered this. A time to wonder about empathy and loss - walking together as a community for a moment.

The author would like to remain anonymous to protect the identities of the children. The story materials were reconstructed after the session for the photos. The story can be watched here

Many of the children moved themselves to the table.